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Male Bonding

Esther Perel explains gender relations like no other.
Sports and military foster male-bonding, the social dynamic among men. 
Business however fosters anti-bonding among men. Dog-eat-dog, elbow everyone, step on other’s necks to make it to the top.

Human Intelligence

The homosapien is a super-intelligent specie, capable of inventing solutions to its problems.

But it sometimes benignly invents its own problems too. If weapons of mass destruction are an obvious example, taste, that wonderful sensation of the tongue and its neurological connection is another. The homosapien of the 21st century consumes nutrition primarily because it tastes good, secondary for its nutritional necessity. This is in contrast to other life forms on the planet.

Take the Time

A friend of mine has an underweight problem she has been fighting for a few months. She's been visiting a dietitian who subscribed a radically different diet. My friend was somewhat shaken by this new diet, because it would mean a dramatic change to her daily routine, her shopping and cooking habits and at some level her daily balance. After a few minutes of explaining to me, she broke down into tears, because of the burden of changes.

It occurred to me that she didn't have do this. She had a choice to not do the diet. Even better, she had the choice to do the diet at her own pace. I advised her to not mind the dietitian too much, but if she really wanted to do the diet, she should stay committed to it, and do it at a pace she felt comfortable. So no, no habits and routines need to be changed overnight. She could do it over a period of weeks or months. So long as she's gaining weight, it should be OK to take the time!

The next morning I got a call from her, that this simp…

Good people with bad habits

In professional relationships..

Bad people with bad habits: it’s easy to catch early and filter them out.

Good people with good habits are too rare. They hardly come by.

But good people with bad habits are more common.

These are the people whose enormous potential is being blocked by some self deceptions going on in their minds, that they don’t see, but others around them can tell. As always, those around us know a lot more about us than we ourselves (though 99.9% of the times we think it’s the other way around).

So what to do?

It turns out that good old objectivity is our best friend.

Consider a programmer I used to work with. He was an honest guy with good intentions to do a good job. At the end of the day however, he would live up to 40% of his potential. But he felt enormous stress in accomplishing even that. Worse yet, he thought he was giving his 100%.

How could we tell it was only 40%? We counted the number of lines of code he wrote, which averaged no more than 30 per day. Now…

Death & Detachment

When death comes, it's time to give everything up, everything you built, everyone you love. That's why people don't want to talk about it. It's sad, scarily sad.
I think being prepared for death is the ultimate act of detachment. And in detachment lies peace. As a sane man, would you choose peace or conflict within?
At any point in my life, I would like to have my dependents entitled to whatever I want to provide them. And that is limited. I want all my debts kept paid. Those things I create, I hope there are care-takers for it, and they benefit from them in future. Those people that had love for me, hopefully I did enough for them, that they do not remember any emotional debt.
Detachment then, is the key to living and dying a free life.

My Taxes are my Votes

Someone more democratic has to explain the flaw in this logic.
Little Macedonia went to a referendum in September 2018 to vote for essentially 3 national decisions.  Change of name from Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia to Nothern Macedonia. Implied in 1. and in relation to Greece‘s approval of the new name, entry into NATO. Implied in 1. and in relation to Greece‘s approval of the new name, entry into EU. I spent the last 4 days in this trip to Macedonia, discussing with friends and strangers, mainly their opinions about entering the EU. 

One of my employees mentioned that she does not care about the outcome and she didn’t vote. I had to admit to her that I myself miss voting, but definitely do care. With a little guilt injected due to that last admission, I went on to explain to her that my way of contributing to the democracies I live in is by paying taxes. Hard cash. Not 1 vote every few years that may or may not count, but cold money, that will definitely count. By that logic I …